Gamer Love

“Hey hon?”
“Yes love?”
“This guy just privately messaged me and he’s offering me free armor?”
“Wait, really?”
“Yes. Has he messaged you?”
“Nope. I’m playing a male character. He must think you’re actually a girl.”
“Wait - so he’s hitting on me??”
“That’s not necessarily so. He may just think you’re a crap player who could use better armor for the sake of the team?”
“That’s terrible - and you play far worse than I do.”
“Yet no one has privately messaged me to offer free stat-raising armor. Doesn’t look good, does it?”
“But we play as a couple - we announced it at the start of the dungeon!”
“And?”
“He’s still hitting on me? Isn’t that, like, against the bro code?”
“We’re not bro’s, we’re a random pick up group, love.”
“That’s still bad form.”
“Welcome to being female? I don’t know what to say here.”
“This is your fault.”
“Wait - what???”
“You’re a bad fake boyfriend player.”
“How the f--- wait, what???”
“If you had established yourself as a better boyfriend our relationship status wouldn’t be challenged by loser males in private chatboxes.”
″...you’ve got to kidding me now.”
“You ran into the first level typing ‘BLOODY T-SHIRT CONTEST!’ while button mashing your way through the horde.”
“That was hilarious!”
“That was idiocy. I’ve obviously played with far better strategy than you, and now others are offering me armor and potentially better player partners.”
“Alright that’s it, I’m kicking him.”
“Wow, way to respond with a knee-jerk, angry male reaction.”
“I just want to play a damn game with my boyfriend and now this idiot is causing us to have fuckin’ relationship discussions!”
“So you’re going to punish him for your fear of intimacy?”
“ARGH!! JUST TAKE THE FUCKIN’ FREE ARMOR AND IGNORE HIM!”
“That sounds hideously un-feminist, not to mention disloyal to my already established in-game relationship.”
“Then don’t take the armor and remind that idiot you have a perfectly capable boyfriend!”
“Do I, though?”
“GODSDAMMIT!!!!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s